


the sweetest downfall (i loved you first)

by havisham



Series: havisham's SASO 2017 works collection [60]
Category: Free!
Genre: Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, OR IS IT, One-Sided Relationship, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 07:38:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11573430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Your hair was long when we first met.Sousuke struggles valiantly, finally succumbs & is saved miraculously.





	the sweetest downfall (i loved you first)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO 2017 Bonus Round 4: Quotes, [for the prompt:](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=13896305#cmt13896305) Sousuke/Rin, I won’t be in the history books; that’s for you. But I loved you first. As long as they get that right, I don’t care what they say — The Thirteen Letters

Sousuke had never meant for Rin to know that he loved him.

It was something that was just for Sousuke himself, a secret buried under their rivalry and friendship. When Rin moved away to Iwatobi, and then Australia, Sousuke thought, _this was it. I'll get over it by the time he comes back._ But Rin didn't come back. And Sousuke didn't get over it.

Instead, he devoted himself to swimming, to becoming the best butterfly swimmer in Japan. That was the way he'd see Rin again, he was sure. If they couldn't be friends, couldn't be lovers (and they couldn't be, he was sure), then at least they could be rivals, and equals in that way. 

He got on well with his Tokitsu classmates and some of them he could even call his friends. But none of them were like Rin. Rin would always be a special person to Sousuke, even if Sousuke wasn't special to Rin. 

_Why did you stop writing, Rin?_ He asked this question a thousand times to the Rin in his head. Every time, Rin turned away, unwilling to speak. 

_I wish I could still talk to you._

Sousuke kept writing to Rin, even though he stopped sending the letters. He wrote one the day he was told that he had damaged his shoulder so badly that it was unlikely that he would ever compete again. _I won't see you on the world stage, Rin. That means I won't see you. I'm sorry, I failed, I failed to be the best. The world won't remember me._

He told his parents that he wanted to move back to Iwatobi for his last year of high school. His mother asked him if he was still planning on swimming. He'd lied easily, telling her that he wouldn't dream of it. She looked skeptical, to say the least. Samezuka's swim club was the most notable thing about it. 

When Sousuke saw Rin again, it was like something in him clicked. He knew now that his love had never gone away, no matter how hard he had tried to deny it. And as their time together wound down, Sousuke wrote another letter to Rin, his last. 

_I loved you first. I won't be up there with you when you win gold for Japan. I wish with all my heart I could be. But know that I loved you, Rin. I loved you first and I loved you best. Remember me when I'm not there. Forgive me. Goodbye._

Sousuke's head sank below the water and he let his mind go blank. This was a kind of peace, he decided. 

But just as he was about to lose consciousness, a hand reached into the water and yanked him up. Suddenly all he feel was the sting of chlorine in his eyes and all he could see was Rin's face, red and teary, above him. 

"What are you doing, you idiot!" Rin shouted, his voice shaking. "You could've died!" 

"Ah, Rin, you saved me," Sousuke said grinning. "It would be embarrassing if I drowned in front of the kouhais." 

"They've all gone," Rin said moodily. "What are you doing here?" 

"Nothing," Sousuke said. He tried to think where he had left his letter. If Rin hadn't read it yet, then he was saved. 

"You left a really weird note on my pillow today," Rin said, wiping off his face. "What did you mean, goodbye?" 

"Well, summer's almost over, isn't it? Soon we'll go our own ways." 

"But that doesn't mean anything," Rin said, "I'm not going to forget about you, what the hell. I want you beside me, no matter what." 

"Rin..." Sousuke looked down and set his mouth in a stubborn line. "I won't hold you back." 

"Idiot! As if you could."

**Author's Note:**

> I think it's inevitable that I should've used this title, it's only from one of my favorite songs of all time. Yes, still! Regina Spektor forever!


End file.
